Look with your eyes, not with your hands.


Such a minute fraction of this life do we live: so much is sleep, tooth-brushing, waiting for mail, for metamorphosis, for those sudden moments of incandescence: unexpected, but once one knows them, one can live life in the light of their past and the hope of their future.



A grad student muses on her life, film, friends, politics, reality televizzle, and music.

 
Assertion Failed

For some reason when I turned on my computer, a little text block popped up that read �assertion failed,� ironically, the same could be said for my thesis. It�s a mess and I don�t know how I am going to dig myself out of this � I can probably pass off something that leaves more questions than conclusions, so in some sense, I already view this exhaustive year process as some kind of a failure, or maybe I�ve just disappointed myself because I am still sort of overwhelmed and confused, not seeing what the qualitative educational goal this entire project intended to satisfy. Picking a topic was relatively easy, but they never coached us on what to do with a topic. I have read every source I could get my hands on, relating to Robert Morris and his career (that�s a lot of material) but all it did was leave me a few dried up highlighters and beef up my stock of Minimalist trivia.

Honestly, I apologize if I�ve been annoying lately, I am even annoying myself. When I have been venting I don�t think people have been reacting correctly � I don�t want anyone else to tell me not to worry or that it will get gone, I need some solid, specific help, teach me through example. I think my advisor has been distracted lately (read about her torrid love life below) and I think she�s just skimming over my writing and grading on my reputation of usually doing good work. Compliments are nice, but only when they are in order.

I can�t believe it�s already Saturday and already 7pm at that. Last night, after spending eight hours in the library and then fighting with the woman at the grille until she would re-make my club sandwich without mayonnaise, I went over to Forest (where I am living next year) to see Aaron and Justin for a while. Since I had been productive, I permitted myself to fall off the wagon, for a night. A vodka and tonic and two glasses of white wine later, we watched Jack on the local news (his part time job as a CBS reporter) reporting on �Crutch� a handicapped Montreal-based break-dancer who uses crutches as props in his routine. After the news broadcast, Jack joined us for wine and a stimulating discussion about the market potential for plastic lumber.

Eventually I came home and confronted the impossibility of ever having a conversation with someone on the West coast. My morning started this afternoon and I have been sluggish and a little too social at the library today, thinking I might not go to Jack�s birthday party. But I know myself and know that an appearance will be made despite my intentions and the need to really sit in isolation and be an alchemist turning my worthless notes into gold.

Anyway, since I have the most eclectic music tastes ever, I think I�ll use this opportunity to make some recommendations for your listening pleasure or a very bizarre mix cd. One of my favorite songs at the moment is Paul McCartney�s �From a Lover to a Friend.� On a Beatle-themed note, best album of the last month � the �I am Sam� soundtrack. My sister and I have differing opinions of Nick Cave�s �Let it Be,� I think it�s a great re-make, she feels otherwise, in fact I think she called it annoying and creepy. But Ben Folds� �Golden Slumbers� rivals the original - and I think Sheryl Crow, fantastic as ever, doesn�t disappoint with �Mother Nature�s Son.� Kristin�s favorite is �Two of Us,� a duet by Aimee Mann and Sean Penn�s brother Michael. And because I was just on break and listened to the radio in the car (A LOT, especially during a 2 hour traffic jam en route to NYC), I have had Enrique Iglesias�s �Escape� perpetually in my head at the most inopportune moments. Last night, Justin introduced me to Outkast�s �Da Art of Storytelling, Pt 2.� That�s some good shiz-nit. I have also added numerous tracks to my play list from Sade (ignore Kristin's snickering), REM�s new album �Reveal� (much better than their past album), and on the pleasing recommendation of Rolling Stone more Ryan Adams, Brendan Benson, and Caitlin Cary.

Last note � it�s freezing today, thirty degrees and it�s April. And you should check out some fun debate (no, that's not an oxymoron) photos, courtesy of Patrick Nichols.

posted by lmjasinski at 6:49 PM