the female gaze

Look with your eyes, not with your hands.


Such a minute fraction of this life do we live: so much is sleep, tooth-brushing, waiting for mail, for metamorphosis, for those sudden moments of incandescence: unexpected, but once one knows them, one can live life in the light of their past and the hope of their future.



A grad student muses on her life, film, friends, politics, reality televizzle, and music.


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"The story of your life is not your life, it's your story" -- John Barth
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Tuesday, April 23, 2002
 
Reasons why I was late to class this morning...

One of the strangest nights in a while - my celebratory dinner with David and Helen (colorful character descriptions included somewhere) on finishing the book project and also my being on the verge of completing my thesis. David and I went out for a pint while we waited for our Indian take out and then brought our feast to Helen's. There we had two primo bottles of champagne, told crazy stories, laughed enough to cause the good kind of wrinkles (if there is such a thing); I have learned so much from that eclectic pair... we screened the Marx Brother's 1933 film "Horsefeathers," which coincidently was Helen's first cinematic memory of seeing a motion picture. It was a very good time. I love Helen's house. I learned last night that it was a pre-fabricated design made by a bunch of Gropius-learned Harvard architects... she has an amazing assortment of chairs. For the pristine value of a sculptural object, you can't beat a great chair. Well anyway, I was there until 11ish. Since I was drunk and unable to concentrate, I pissed away some time with Jack in the microfiche room.
Then I made the fatal error, vitamin water. This is a fairly new discovery, it's like snapple basically, but it has "organic" ingredients designed to combat fatigue, distraction, or stress. good product for the most part, it's **refreshing** and beats diet coke sometimes. Well, last night I had the chamomile / green tea / vitamin B formula around midnight. Then, my condition went from lazy and mild-heartburn from the curry to manic. I ended up indulging in a long, but fun, long distance phone call - and at 4am, still complacently awake, was ranting and spouting off nonsense to Jack, who also drank this magical brew and couldn't sleep... so low and behold, i wasn't entirely surprised that subconsciously turned off the clock, and got up at 11:35 for an 11:30 class. I took a shower, dried my hair, and even tied my shoes, and made it to Kalb only 12 mins late. Not too shabby... but those are the reasons I overslept.

In the library editing, don't expect the night to hold much else.