I get to be angry sometimes.
Okay. I have had a very lucky and positive few years. Not to gloat or sound obnoxious, or any more arrogant than usual, but it's been a long time since I had to confront a disappointing situation or even a minor setback. I've gotten everything I have wanted for a few years and I'd like to think that I've been blessed with some wonderfully unexpected surprises too. I was named as an alternate for my Ron Brown Grant, the what I thought was a sure $3k to supplement my summer job. My application was very strong, I have accepted a position at the Guggenheim, and I even had the Dean of Students send along her recommendation (which she winked and told me was a very good one). So I am angry, dissappointed, curious - as to why I as named an alternate. Now it's entirely possible I'll get my money in the end, but still. I have done a lot of shit for other people in the past few years - committees, budget reports, judicial committments and other favors for the deans, and I feel like I (as a active member of this community, a very responsible student, and a promising career after working at two of the biggest, baddest museums in NYC). I am pissed. I am pissed at the career services office that hasn't done me a damn favor since I walked onto this campus, I am pissed at the committee who I feel made a bad choice - so pissed in fact that I am never doing a favor for CSO ever. I haven't decided whether or not I want to be in the alumni directory of professionals. Maybe this is the bitterness of immediate dissappointment, but I really feel as if the office is inept. If I don't fit their criteria for help (i.e. an international student or a wannabe investment banker) then screw 'em. The only art-related career they seem to endorse is the souless world of auction houses - well CSO - did you happen to notice that the former-CEO of Sotheby's got slapped with a $7.5m fine and a year in jail for unethical business practices? for price-fixing with their #1 competor, Christie's? (no offense Nates, I know this is your oyster) but I have a serious problem with Middlebury only bringing art alums to campus that work for these certifiably corrupt institutions. (not that the Guggenheim isn't commerical or attentive to profit) but the bias against-museum work is certainly there. This fall, CSO brought 5 speakers to campus that worked for either Sotheby's / Christies... I happen to know a great woman in the Education Dept at MoMA who is a Midd alumnae... she wasn't invited, curious.
My mother was very reassuring and told me not to worry and that she and my father would finance my summer if the grant didn't come through - but frankly, it shouldn't have to come to that. And I am still pissed off and feel like I have suffered a grave injustice. Well, fuck you career services and don't expect anything from me,
ever.
back to this damn lecture I am giving tomorrow.
posted by lmjasinski at 10:59 PM
