the female gaze

Look with your eyes, not with your hands.


Such a minute fraction of this life do we live: so much is sleep, tooth-brushing, waiting for mail, for metamorphosis, for those sudden moments of incandescence: unexpected, but once one knows them, one can live life in the light of their past and the hope of their future.



A grad student muses on her life, film, friends, politics, reality televizzle, and music.


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"The story of your life is not your life, it's your story" -- John Barth
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Monday, May 06, 2002
 
I have awful siatic nerve pain. I can't sit still, I can't lay down, and I can't really stand either. I don't know where this suddenly came from, but it's horribly uncomfortable and I feel as if the back of my right thigh is bruised. That, on top of my usual hot-outside tiredness, I am a mess.

I have been reading Jack's screenplay in between bouts of trying to shake off my discomfort. It's really good, I don't know how much meaningful criticism I have for him. It's my job to come up with a title and so far, nothing yet.

My advisor today - for about the seventh time, when I told her I was a Feb and not graduating, she's like, really? Not even, I had forgotten, but she acted like I never mentioned it, what an idiot. Furthermore, I asked her about her weekend and she said "I went to the Guster concert, oh yes, I saw you there." Mind you, prior to said Guster concert, I had about a pint of gin and pulled off a fairly awkward 10 min conversation with her and p-kalb. Good to know it was forgettable, but I am expecting Peter to comment on my demeanor in class tomorrow and my excessive formality by introducing him as Professor Kalb rather than by his first name, well, whatever. Michelle said he was really cute though, if that counts for anything, and it probably doesn't.

It looks like night 7 of not writing my Moran paper. Let's see how far we can push his good graces? I am such a louse lately.

I had a good day in architecture, compiling a list of the most important buildings of the second half of the 20th Century. I am really surprised that only one person suggested the World Trade Center. In general, my class seems to really like Frank Gehry, Louis Kahn, and Venturi... but I am going to miss that class now that it's gone. I think that this year has changed me from a naive building admirer into a fairly acute spectator. Now I just need funding to travel around the world and look at structures and spaces, but I guess it's developing the ability to carry different images in one's head as one travels and gradually checking buildings off the list. This summer, I plan to make several architectural excursions around New York if anyone wants to hit up Rem Koolhaus's Prada Store, Johnson's AT&T building, this amazing fashion building in SoHo, and several other gems sprinkled throughout the city. And I have only rolled up my pants and wandered in the Seagram's fountain once, I'll be happy to pay Mies a visit any day. But seriously, any Saturday, I am up for architectural walking tours.... it's what poor kids do in the city to amuse themselves, "window shop" for I-beams and glass curtain walls.

anyway, need to walk around some more...