the female gaze

Look with your eyes, not with your hands.


Such a minute fraction of this life do we live: so much is sleep, tooth-brushing, waiting for mail, for metamorphosis, for those sudden moments of incandescence: unexpected, but once one knows them, one can live life in the light of their past and the hope of their future.



A grad student muses on her life, film, friends, politics, reality televizzle, and music.


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"The story of your life is not your life, it's your story" -- John Barth
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Saturday, July 06, 2002
 
more domestic urges and a sore bottom

At some point last summer, I mentioned to some friends that I went for a VERY long bike ride along the Hudson River (enough to warrant calling it the activity of a long bike ride) and said friends laughed and found that impossible to imagine. Well, all plausibility aside, I did it again today. The weather is too fantastic not to enjoy - so Auntie B, Addie, Marley and I rode to Croton Point Park - where the views almost make the ride worth it. The hills are still killers coming home, and well, they say you never forget how to ride a bike, but you do forget how uncomfortable the seat is.

A day of many movies - the silly and stupid MIB 2 and then I rented A Beautiful Mind, and I fully admit that I waited entirely too long to see that. Last year I was at Princeton for a debate trip (the last trip, coincidently, I plan to Princeton in the foreseeable future), Ed Harris and Russel Crowe were on hand filming. Friday night, just after Chinese food dinner, I remember that we (Aaron, stow-away Justin, O'Shea, Yosh, and perhaps my estranged debate partner, Phill) were walking down Nassau Avenue, drinking liquor out of paper bags outside of a building set up for filming. I think we made a scene of some kind, but we didn't make the final cut. What a way to spend spring break though. Every trip to Princeton seems to yield a wheelbarrel worth of blush-worthy stories and I guess that night is another example. I kind of like that, that light, that trip, and that April in general, is captured in the elegant illusion of film.

I still fall victim to that knee-jerk reaction to seeing a place I know in film, to nag the shoulder of the viewer next to me and verify that said place is true to form, and I too have been on that street for at least a passing footstep. This is becoming more annoying because I work in New York. MIB 2 is set in New York and Will Smith is particularly fond of the pie at a certain silver-toaster trailer style diner. I remember sitting there with Andrea and Tomoka during our Art History field trip, trying to ignore the endless (and mindless, and fashion-less) banter of a certain women's ski team captain. Lots of people have wandered around Chelsea, lots of people have eaten at said diner, but my experience was verified, enhanced, shared (if even unintentionally) with other people who have taken it in in a dilluted form. Now I am just rambling - but - the point being, been there, done that.

John arrives tomorrow - and I am so excited - a year is far too long, but it has gone by in such a blink. We're preparing quite the spread - my plans to make guacamole (which still stand) have expanded into a divine vegetarian tour de force, ending with a tempting Mango-Strawberry-Tapioca-Indonesian pudding for dessert. I really want to give dinner parties - so that warrants a kitchen, plates and flatware, wine, fresh herbs, controversial topics, and of course, 8 darling invitees. I am sure the day will come when I am fed up with these affairs, and all of this will be but a fond nostalgic recall of when I was young and stupid, energetic and the like... It's nice though to celebrate John in such a way, I think he's the kind of guy who will appreciate this kind of effort, and really, he's entitled to it. It'll be so nice to have him back, not only in New York, but in general.

The first of my Fellini books came yesterday, now if I could only find the time to read it, or do anything of scholarly value for that matter. There is much to be done, as always, but reading in a crowded house is difficult, and television is such a stupid enabler. So I want more weekends to fill with dinner parties and interesting friends and I also want to balance my socialite moonlighting with time enough to read ahead and land myself in the graduate school program of choice. I caught up on some much needed ironing tonight, so my wardrobe expanded approx. 300%. So I am finding the occasional moment to do something that needs to get done.