dose of reality
Friday night. Rainy. Grumpy. It's wrong to take your frustrations out on other people or misdirect anger - but sometimes you can't help it. Spent some time reviewing for the GRE - something I am going to have to do every day in order for it to make a difference, whoa, flash cards here I come. I am such a lousy standardized tester. Reading more of
The Republic in preparation for my condensed week to accomodate my extended weekend in Boston. Plenty more to get done this weekend and Katie en route tomorrow for some fun. I know a good night's sleep will help me shake off the looming funk which I am projecting/attributing to lousy weather and the general sense of stagnation, sluggishness, unproductive, disinterestedness of the last three weeks. I really need a sincere weekend. I need to feel like myself and I need to break my gin dependency all over again. Started biting my nails about a week in, after going two months of good discipline. Nathan and John are both smoking again, so I guess old habits die hard.
Talked to my mother this afternoon about my plan b if MIT doesn't pan out. She doesn't know about the Watson and I don't think it's a conversation worth having until it merits something serious. I tossed out the idea of being a teacher if nothing else pans out - and likely gravitation toward Burlington or Boston - where the friends are. A full year of reconsidering, reapplying and deeply hoping at home would be miserable, so again, the viable back up will only be considered when I have to. Back to work for the time being and breaking my most recent co-depedencies in terms of company and substance. I really hate to be such a downer tonight - but it feels like the first time I've been alone or serious since I got back this year and it's comforting in the "this is the reverse of the norm" sense.
posted by lmjasinski at 8:29 PM
