the female gaze

Look with your eyes, not with your hands.


Such a minute fraction of this life do we live: so much is sleep, tooth-brushing, waiting for mail, for metamorphosis, for those sudden moments of incandescence: unexpected, but once one knows them, one can live life in the light of their past and the hope of their future.



A grad student muses on her life, film, friends, politics, reality televizzle, and music.


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"The story of your life is not your life, it's your story" -- John Barth
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Tuesday, November 12, 2002
 
Okay, I think I fucked up my computer. I yanked the cord getting up in an angry huff and now, blamo, no internet. the one good thing I still held college in high regard for was its fast internet connection and now that's been reduced to 3rd world standards. moved to bi hall to write my paper (well, start the reading now at midnight). had one of those days when I just considered my own mortality all too often and learned a helpful fact from snapple: bullfrogs are the only animals that don't sleep.

well, bullfrogs and that rare species: Liseas Jasinskious

Spent $400 in 22 minutes at the grocery store, everyone should do that once, glad Dan and I got to do it together... so many more things to be decided and determined and frankly, I don't have anywhere for the 100 debaters to sleep when they get here friday... this is going to be one wild ride.

Also, if you don't listen to Leonard Cohen from time to time, then you're missing out.. the wierdest thing about quoting song lyrics is that it's almost impossible to say why it's fitting or appropriate unless in the rare occassion when you are lovesick and there is a song to celebrate or lament that... but for the rest of life that happens somewhere between those two poles of finding love or losing it, you end up with this poetry, glimpses of truth, and the beat that carries you through your thousandth night of sitting before the computer attempting to chip away another piece of your education...

from "Sisters of Mercy" (Sting has a great cover on Tower of Song)

Oh I hope you run into them, you who've been travelling so long. Yes you who must leave everything that you cannot control. It begins with your family, but soon it comes around to your soul.

This is from "Coming Back to You"

There are many in your life
And many still to be
Since you are a shining light
There's many that you'll see
But I have to deal with envy
When you choose the precious few
Who've left their pride on the other side of
Coming back to you