the female gaze |
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Look with your eyes, not with your hands.
Such a minute fraction of this life do we live: so much is sleep, tooth-brushing, waiting for mail, for metamorphosis, for those sudden moments of incandescence: unexpected, but once one knows them, one can live life in the light of their past and the hope of their future. A grad student muses on her life, film, friends, politics, reality televizzle, and music. Re-runs & History Reads, Consumables, Pastimes & Institutions 
"The story of your life is not your life, it's your story" -- John Barth 
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Monday, December 30, 2002
Highlights and Lessons Wrote this last night... but posted it today when my computer was more cooperative. Since sleep is a far off possibility, I�ve decided to list some of the most definitive, famous or infamous, moments from 2002. Roughly in chronological order� a timeline of what 2002 meant to me. ***************************************************************************************************** Knowing when a bridge was better off burned. A reply email from Robert Morris. The Female Gaze. Jack�s 22nd Birthday Party. Boggle. Amazing Race. Survivor. Yatzee. SNL. Eating Disorders. Jello. In other words, Voter. Seeing A One and a Two for the first time. The happy realization that I can�t party like it�s 1999 anymore. Blurs from senior week� the band / beer dancing tent with Justin, a conversation with Kaia walking back from Aaron�s, Kenny�s departure and last walk down the hill in front of the Chapel on the most picturesque of days. The MoMA QNS opening � the 7 train in formalwear � torrential rain, makeshift tents, gin. High-tailing it to the Gugg in the same night. Sleeping on the train. Mama Mexicoand all of the $6 mojitos, free tequila, mariachi, and swankiness that followed. The July night when the power went out in Ossining and Addie, Marley, and I sat up talking about Santa Claus by candlelight. Discovery of and return to the Remote Lounge. Two fantastic mentors. The Watson roller-coaster. Realizing that life goes on. Read the Republic with Nelson. Halloween with P. Adams and Ted Perry, realizing what is to come� The Middlebury Debate Tournament, the after dinner. Priceless photos of John and Nathan table dancing with S-rod. Fordham, MIT, Harvard, Wesleyan, Williams - all the emails and phone calls in between - for better or worse, my 8th semester of idle banter and financial recklessness on the Middlebury Debate Team. Realization paid for by the 7 friends I visited in their very own apartments, life is expensive. My last final. Just about done with two majors and Middlebury. **************************************************************************************** What it sounded like� Norah Jones, Rufus Wainwright, Richie Havens, I am Sam (soundtrack), Moulin Rouge 1 & 2, Sigur Ros. Construction of the new library behind my window, typing on a new laptop, Grand Central, laughter, doors slamming on my hall at 3am. What is tasted like� Dean & Deluca house blend, Bombay Sapphire & diet tonic, Rodeo peanuts, kettle popped popcorn, grille quesidillas, Joe's Shanghai, vitamin water, Extra sugar free bubble gum. What it smelled like� the library, the van after a debate trip, fancy air at the Monte Carlo, malt liquor, a metro north train car, a �clean cotton� candle, new car smell. What it felt like� Reclusive, unexplained confidence, divorced, sisterly, blistered, four flights of stairs, suntan, finding bed after a party, disappointed, transient, morning coffee, wordy, optimistic, responsible, stable, relapse, old. |