Mr. Big... Diego Rivera... What is a Single Gal To Do??
So I took myself to see
Frida today, Julie Taymor's movie about the life of Frida Kahlo. Good movie and I learned quite a bit, biographical movies are often good like that, and ever since I did some commissioned research on a film the Soviet director Sergei Eisenstein did in Mexico in the 1930s, I've been interested in Kahlo, Riveria... although I never really had an outlet for it at Midd's overly Western and white-man-centric art history offerings. Partially my own naivety, but from what I know of Kahlo's painting - I should have seen the depressing overtones of this film coming. I had no idea Kalho was in a terrible accident as a young woman and lived most of her life in excruciating pain and full-body casts. I knew that her marriage to Riveria was troubled and he was unfaithful, I assumed this was partially fuelled by her not so straight all of the time sexuality, but the film does a very good job of showing the misery befitting any woman daring and stupid enough (to try) to change a strong-minded man. (In the film, the latter has much more to do with martial strife than affairs with women) This film, a beautifully colored and songy imaginative one at that, Frida says that she had two major accidents in her life - the physical one that left her crippled and Diego. See it, because it's good and informative, just be prepared that it's hard. They probably could have pushed it even further, I don�t think the film really expresses the anguish as horridly as it could have�
I try not to overly relate my real life to the unreal examples provided in culture, film, or literature. Just the same, I watch too much Sex and the City not to get sucked in, hell, I probably wouldn't even mention my (lacking) love life on my blog if it weren�t for Carrie Bradshaw's characteristic monologue. If there is ever a lesson to learn the easy way (i.e. via someone else's mistakes) it seems to be that you have very little say in the way that people treat you, aside from living by the golden rule, there are no satisfaction guarantees. I guess the one thing you hold as leverage is your companionship. If the treatment becomes really unacceptable, then I guess the only thing you can do is get up and go, no matter how much you want things to work, there seems to be a breaking point when you accept that you can't effect other people and move on. I just find myself relating to this type of character all too much - the type of woman who finds the unattainable attractive. This seems to be very bad. I think I need to seek out some new tele-buddies, one's that are a little more instructive in showing how to avoid these situations in the first place. Perhaps there aren�t any diversions capable from saving you from yourself.
It's really strange, right now I am acutely conscious of all of the decisions I make, or will be capable of making in the encroaching months. I think the just-finished college slump is similar to a vulnerable hermit crab scuttling along the beach in search of a new shell (Okay, that's the worst metaphor I've ever used). I know I don't have to prove myself and it's unreasonable to expect my future to unfold perfectly and right away, but there is definitely the sense that this is the beginning of the rest of my life. My first job should extend directly from my successful graduation from a picturesque and well-reputed fancy New England college, I should spend my money befitting someone in this position, everything I do should be called 'smart' in conversation. This is the first real test of my applied knowledge. In the end, you will probably always be more critical of yourself than your family or friends or classmates. When you are in this mindset, I think it's hard not to think of every major decision and every choice as somehow emanating from a sense of self. At the same time, you are penning a personal manifesto and just figuring out what you are all about. The company you keep becomes part of who you are, including your significant others. The books you read, or don't. Your MP3s become your soundtrack. Place, or setting, seems to matter and add character; backdrop interferes and enhances life in weird and wonderful ways. What else are you - but your job, your family, the car you drive, your hobbies, your favorite books, your �usual� anything, your favorite drink - so you are whom you love and what you love.
posted by lmjasinski at 1:29 AM
