the female gaze

Look with your eyes, not with your hands.


Such a minute fraction of this life do we live: so much is sleep, tooth-brushing, waiting for mail, for metamorphosis, for those sudden moments of incandescence: unexpected, but once one knows them, one can live life in the light of their past and the hope of their future.



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"The story of your life is not your life, it's your story" -- John Barth
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Tuesday, January 14, 2003
 
Some habits aren't worth abandonning

I am frustrated with sharing with other people. All day I've really wanted nothing more than to get some editing done on my film. I spent the afternoon waiting to get clearance for the key to the editing room and now that this is over and done with, went and kicked butt in quiz bowl, and now someone else has the editing room as of 9pm for a long time into the future. They have a similar editing set up at the library, fine, I am here. Now the librarian who knows the password is at dinner and no dice here either. Unlike the editing room, the library closes - I guess I am poised to sit here and wait for a while, see if she knows the password, and then probably just editing tomorrow during the day - much easier to get time in the day. I never could have been a filmmaker at Middlebury, I am way too selfish.

Additionally, I could stand to do a load of wash - thankfully I need to venture no further than the basement of my building. Just the same, those machines are overworked and it's cut throat for user-time there too. Anyway, I don't have anything else to do - I don't deal well with this - and I hate having a whole day go by without making much progress on the film. I've actually got a new project in the works for the group installation - a reading of the myth of persephone because it pretells the coming of winter. I shot it and want to just edit out a few stumbles - dammit, but it doesn't look like that is to be. Wait. I guess I can just go and load this film on the other computer in Sunderland, should have thought of this before. Okay, off to try that.