Look with your eyes, not with your hands.


Such a minute fraction of this life do we live: so much is sleep, tooth-brushing, waiting for mail, for metamorphosis, for those sudden moments of incandescence: unexpected, but once one knows them, one can live life in the light of their past and the hope of their future.



A grad student muses on her life, film, friends, politics, reality televizzle, and music.

 
The Myth of Dating

Ginnie and I ask you (or continually ask ourselves) what is this bar scene that people claim to be so tired of in the world of singlehood?? Over a long overdue dinner date and gab fest, Ginnie and I sat and contemplated what our twenties are coming to - a big fat nothing and a full size bed not being put to good use. I think that I missed out on a key part of my adult development in that I don't understand dating, how it is initiated, carried out, or where and when this ritual is going on (even if it is going on, because she and I don't even see evidence of its happening). I mean it must be happenning because you see mix sexed (or single sexed) couples dressed up and sharing meals or drinking, but it's really a mystery to both of us, our set of high (but reasonable) standards and expectations notwithstanding. Pulse, optional. Meanwhile, the Onion has once again summarized my worst dating fears in a frighteningly right-on sort of way. As Ginnie and I determined tonight, dating is an exercize in you giving your monologue - you have a handful of stories, comfortable jokes that always break the ice and get a laugh, you list through your interests... and either it works or it doesn't. Really, it's a dull activity. It's like mock trial in high school - you go in ready to do your part, have your questions and speeches scripted, ready to dodge your opponent's curve balls and react with aplomb. I was much better at mock trial than I am at dating, maybe I just need a new strategy or more notecards. Just the sam, it was a good night of us wondering, laughing, and talking about our lives and skyrocketing living expenses over caesar salads.

Meanwhile, weird New Hampshire legislation triggered a good idea for a debate case. This proposal was just nix'ed in the "Live Free or Die" state, but I think it's a great law and should be instituted everywhere. Basically, it allows handicapped people to write parking tickets for cars that park illegally in handicapped parking spots. I mean it just allows the State to enforce a law that everyone agrees is legitimate and already on the books. If you agree to make a law, I think you implicity you also must strive to enforce it. This isn't like "the handicapped parking resolution" whereby the State strongly urges or recommends its citizens to comply, it's a law. It makes perfect sense - the police don't really enforce this on private property (like malls, movie theaters, restaurants, and what have you). In fact, I think the only time it's ever enforced is if the spot is in a busy town area or directly off a main road. As far as I know, police spend very little time even cruising the lots in schools, hospitials, post offices, libraries or other "civic" arteries. Even then, I think we can all agree that police officers have a lot to do and this shouldn't be yet another demand tacked onto their daily work. I also think that enforcement will combat the mentality some drivers have, which is, "I can park here because a handicapped person doesn't need it right now" or "I am just running in to return videos / pick up pizza / or the ever popular at Midd, "get my mail." Well, if a handicapped person is around and needs the spot and your lazy ass took it, be prepared to shell out. I think it would be even better if all of the funding went to state programs that aid and assist the handicapped - or supplement programs like a CT factory that hires blind people to make gym bags. I think I've been up on doing more for handicapped people ever since I went to see "Frida" in January. When I went to the theater, I helped an older woman with her wheelchair on a curb. Later when we were in the theater and she asked some patrons to move out of the handicapped seating area (people like this area - more leg room and no one in front of you) they rolled their eyes and moved, aggrivated, away. The people sitting in an adjacent handicapped area kept munching on popcorn and "pretended" not to see the woman. This was one of the least humane things I've seen in a while - godammit, this lady should have the right to ticket such lazy and insenstive assholes. Bascially, those who are lazy and take handicapped spots deserve to pay.

Okay, stepping down from my soapbox into the unemployment queue, here are the jobs that appealed most to me in my local paper. I should first add that RAW emailed me back to go in on March, 21 - that's two weeks from today, just for an interview, no guarentee. How long can they drag this out? Hopefully this full-calendar is a sign that they are desperate for help, but I sent them a letter in early January - two months later they have a half hour to meet with me. To make it even, I am not breathing another word about grad school. I'll go in then, but I am going to line something else up. The most promising careers for me in the greater Hartford area go as follows - $14/hr to be a chimney sweep (you get extra pay for being "clean cut and hardworking"), receptionist at an abortion clinic (well, it's an OB-GYN and you must be pro-choice to work there) which would actually be interesting, I think. As it turns out, my salon and my OB/GYN are both looking for part time reception / office help. I am going to call my doctor on Monday. I am less enthused about the salon (although I actually love it there, great employees, clients, sophisticated atmosphere) because the hours - which include Fri nights and Sat mornings - are the pits. But, if I get free haircuts / color, it would probably pay for itself in a month and worth giving up Friday nights (since all I do on Fridays is stay home anyway). Anyway, the beat goes on. I've sent in my two sub apps, I'll call around to see if I can get some reception work (like 10 hours a week would be good if I can find a few things to do) and we'll just go on with fingers crossed like I do everyday. Gotta start somewhere, I am overdue for a pelvic exam anyway, so I might as well call my OBGYN, a sassy black lady with cornrows who went to Yale - she's like the Oprah, only with stirrups in her office. Maybe if I work there I get a discount?? I met someone this summer who worked for a dermatologist and the women in the office got free botox and laser hair removal... eh, I don't know what kind of "free" procedures you get from a gynocologist... on second thought, I'll just work there for salary, no perks necessary, maybe just the free pens and notepads one gets working in a doctor's office. Okay, this is getting gross, I am going back to my faithful friend, tv.

Just wanted to give a shout out to the Kreme and Kone in Dennis, Massachusetts, Ginnie and I will miss you dearly, oh remnant of our youth!
posted by lmjasinski at 10:12 PM