the female gaze

Look with your eyes, not with your hands.


Such a minute fraction of this life do we live: so much is sleep, tooth-brushing, waiting for mail, for metamorphosis, for those sudden moments of incandescence: unexpected, but once one knows them, one can live life in the light of their past and the hope of their future.



A grad student muses on her life, film, friends, politics, reality televizzle, and music.


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"The story of your life is not your life, it's your story" -- John Barth
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Wednesday, April 23, 2003
 
Back from the Dead...

Back in full force... eh ahem, like so many of my other usual reads, I had taken a short hiatus - it is time for everyone else to saddle up and start blogging again. As expected, the change from not-working to working was abrupt and jolted my system. I got out on the early side today and have tomorrow off, so I guess these days are little more normal than not. Aside from that, I've been watching my usual tv shows, not watching Mr. Personalitybecause it looks the lamest romantic-reality tv show from Fox yet, and I was very pleased with the bonus-edition of Idol because it wasn't just old stuff edited together to "seem new," it featured live perfomances and new interviews. I guess the question I'll field hits at the hinted at romance between Carmen and Clay. They are very friendly in a touchy-feely kind of way, so I am curious. I think I am of the school that if nothing was happenning, then they'd come out and say the ever-popular press dodging line: we're just friends, so I think the door has been opened to suggest that there is some hanky panky going on in the Hollywood Hills. There is so much speculation over Clay's sexuality and there is such a big age gap, so it is equally as likely that the flirting is innocent, but I'll follow the development of this rumor. In the meantime, let me give a shout out to K-Lo, Kim Locke, for really finding her style, slimming down, and really impressing the judges, me, and America lately. She's been very good lately and I think Simon is right to name her the dark horse contestant of the second season. I don't think she'll beat Roooobin, but I think she'll stay in longer than one would have expected from her sub-par Disco or Motown performances. Clay has continued to bore me, he needs to show his diversity (in fashion, song choice, something new...) or he is permanetly fallen from my good graces. I think that Marine Josh was off last night, but I feel like talent-wise, it is Carmen's turn to go. I think that last night's theme, the Diane Warrin songbook, was lousy. It didn't showcase anyone's voice particularly well, and since she writes ballads almost exclusively, it was boring. Many of the songs were unfamiliar to me and I felt unimpressive. I would have opted for Billy Joel II before I would do Diane Warrin (plus, she's wierd looking and dresses strangely with Blosson-era hats, and I don't like that). We'll see what happens tonight, but I expect to see K-Lo, Rooooobin, and Clay next week, and I will acknowledge that Trenyce, Carmen and Josh areall equally vulnerable, but I'd really find it satisfying if blondie bites the dust. In related news, I am going to see the Idol Tour on August 2nd in Providence, RI. My sister has already pledged to sleep in a ticket-line overnight, so it is in the bag, dawg. I can't wait... it's like going to see Disney on Ice when you are a Cinderella-fanatic. I am so making a huge cardboard sign to bring in... I just haven't decided what it'll say. I am willing to put money on the fact that my sister carries in a sign that reads: "Josh, divorce your wife and marry me." She totally digs the military cowboy thing he's got going on.

Last night after Idol, I caughted a very scary movie on HBO, the ultra-spooky, Mothman Prophecies, starring "Grace" and Richard "the gerbil" Gere. If you are looking to spend a freaky frightening Friday night in, this is a must-rent. It is better than The Ring and it is apparently based on a "actual events." It is always hard to tell how true to life a blockbuster is when it is based on a true story, but just the same, this is spookiness to the third power. Granted the filmmaker had to take some liberties with the special effects for the poltergeist mothman, but aside from that, it is well-filmed and eerie without being too cheesy.

So what's up, Buttercup? Work, work, work. I still like my job, I like what it's doing to my wardrobe and I like that it is getting me out of bed in the morning. What I don't like are all of the inside the biz secrets that make me not want to wear anything purchased from a store. I've already learned that people will try anything - like returning clothes worn, washed, and taq-less. One girl returned a pair of full price "long and lean" jeans (retail $58), swearing that they were unworn. Hardly, and the icing on the cake, when I threw them into the return bin, her college ID fell out of the pocket. Some of our regular shoplifters came in yesterday, "exchanging" "gifts" for over $100 of brand new-merchandise, that is just annoying, and yet, there is nothing you can really do. I am still surprised that a woman will make you call six stores looking for a pink tshirt that is on sale for $6.99 and then seem huffy when they are sold out. But it's been a busy week and lots of cleaning up after flilthy slobs that mess up piles of folded t-shirts (when they have no intention of buying one) and leave 8 pairs of pants, inside out, laying on the fitting room floor. Major life realization gained from two weeks working at the Gap: people are cheap slobs. So that is all that is brewing with me. I started reading David Bordwell's iconic Film Art, but my progress is slow because I have very little uninterrupted time on my hands and I am back in the going to bed early rut. I've caught up with old friends over email and that's been a nice tie to the real life I once had, but that is really just about everything.