Pretty Good Year
This time last year, my life was in a frenzy. My thesis was due a year ago tomorrow (forgive me for jumping the gun, but I can sit down and discuss it now, and the future is uncertain). I actually didn't put the pieces together until John called tonight to blow off a little steam with his impending due date and ask me some questions about Minimalism, but it has been a year. The passage of time, although it can be measured in discrete increments, is probably the most subjective experience out there. So it is hard to say if it was a good year or a bad one, or if time passed quickly or lagged. In any case, I don�t remember a lot of the details of my research at the time, but in a second I can shut my eyes and remember the lifestyle, the routines of moving between computer labs in order to keep my thoughts fresh, I can remember the details of my study spaces and the look of the images taped against my dorm room wall that stood as constant, albeit haunting, reminders of where my thoughts should have been directed. If I could go back and do it all again, I�d do it in a heartbeat. For me, the memory of the thesis is really the highpoint of my academic training at Middlebury. When I think back, it was me at my devoted and concentrating best. Socially, it was the quietest time at Middlebury so it actually reminds me the most of my life right now. Even though it was quiet (and by quiet I mean sober), I enjoyed myself and good company and I think I had an opportunity to see what I really like to do when the high concentration of social distractions are stripped away and life is about doing good work, rewarding yourself with a much needed game of Boggle, and pleasing yourself. Although Thomas Wolfe would have you believe otherwise, I am already excited to go back there, to Middlebury, again, expecting things to be different, but uncovering enough of that now-distant glimmer to make it worth the trek up to the mountains. It was a very special time and place in my life � I wonder if just going back and bring enough of it to life?
And in all of that time, I probably did more (in terms of action) to effect my future than ever before. I took up temporary residence at the Guggenheim, realized that film was the next kink in the path, and I guess I figured out how to play the graduate school game � these are three very big things to do. A year ago, I never would have believed that I would be going to Madison � and now I am in the process of leasing an apartment and saving money for new furniture. It is an exciting, if unexpected, time in my life. So it�s been a year though, I guess this is the important thing, of putting one big milestone behind me and setting my sights to more of this type of anniversary in the summer, of finishing Master�s Comps and then going onto complete the elusive dissertation.
In smaller news, I�ve picked up more hours and suddenly my week is back to looking very full. I no longer have tomorrow off, which is just as well, and I am going in 9-3. On my to-do list � to write one of my favorite teachers from high school and give her an update. I think it is a little intimidating. Usually I like talking about myself and what I have been busying myself with, but for some reason, I think it is hard to summarize the last few years into an email-size morsel. When in doubt, procrastinate. I have also taken on the task of decoding the fine print and re-financing my student loans. I did a quick web search and uncovered a company called Sallie Mae. They have an informative website and I am going to call them tomorrow when they are open. Interest rates are at an all time low (and will change in June) so I need to get on the ball and do whatever I need to do in order to save some bling bling. I think the best description I have ever heard of financial things comes from my sister�s favorite book, Le Petit Prince (subtitle: The Little Prince). But there is a banker or a financial type scribbling down numbers on paper. The Little Price, ever wise, brings up the fact that these abstract numbers might as well be imaginary because the numbers themselves don�t really signify anything. That�s how I think of my mounting debt � it�s unreal. I haven�t had to pay anything yet, and since I�ve never even dealt with real bills before or taxes for that matter (living at home and getting by on tax-free museum stipends insulates you from reality) my loans are just abstract numbers on paper. Since I�ll be deferring everything for a long time to come while I am in grad school, I am trying to set myself up for the future with a good rate and theoretically, cutting down excess fees or higher rates. I�ll write more about this as I make progress as I am sure I am not the only one considering this course of action.
posted by lmjasinski at 9:02 PM
