Look with your eyes, not with your hands.


Such a minute fraction of this life do we live: so much is sleep, tooth-brushing, waiting for mail, for metamorphosis, for those sudden moments of incandescence: unexpected, but once one knows them, one can live life in the light of their past and the hope of their future.



A grad student muses on her life, film, friends, politics, reality televizzle, and music.

 
This is the least crazy choice I've made in a long while

Okay, NYU it is. This has actually turned out to be one of the easier decisions I've faced - now that I have all of the pieces in the puzzle. And as a friend told me this afternoon, this isn't crazy at all - it's the right choice. Basically, there was a delay in processing my FAFSA form within Tisch. (I double checked to make sure my need was processed, it was - and trust me, I will meet full need). But once they get the FAFSA form, they are going to extend a RA job offer, research assistant, that will make life livable with a stipend. Again, it's not a huge handsome Upper Eastside penthouse amount, but it seems comparable to what John has been offered as a copy editor at S&S or in the ballpark of what I would make at a non-profit arts / gallery job - plus, I'll be a in school, so I wasn't expecting to be rolling in it. So I can make rent, not starve, and make it through being able to concentrate on the task at hand without constnatly worrying about money. But the RA job and the tuition waiver will make this possible and I think I've landed where I should. I still think I am in shock because I didn't think this was a likely or possible outcome - but I love New Yorkand want to spend, potentially, the rest of my life there. I feel like this is the proper step to secure the 'career objectives' I am chasing. In order to further increase my stress-level and add to this week's mayhem, I am going to spend tomorrow in New York, meet with the department coordinator guy and sit in on a class tomorrow evening, then I'll shoot back to CT and head for Boston in the afternoon to spend a weekend at the debate national championships (and really, I am so excited to go and just live it up with Dan and Jeremy for a couple of days). It has been such an intense week - unlike no other I've ever had - and now I am really gearing up for the next stage. Seriously folks, I've never had to contend with a decision of this magnitude (there wasn't a lot of choice in college, Middlebury was the natural selection) - and I have never made huge purchases or other life-altering decisions. Here you go, I am following all of the logical signs and as I stand on my own two feet, I am going to NYU.

Some of you may be wondering why I haven't chimed in on Idol... well, I haven't seen last night's yet. I plan to watch tonight when my mom brings me the tape because no one in our house knows how to use the VCR. Actually, I'll be missing Survivor, again, two weeks in a row... but it is really important that I get an impression of NYU before I sign on the dotted line and all other doors close. I wrote my decline letter today, and that was difficult - but I think it just makes a lot more sense for me to head toward NY. In a lot of ways, I feel like I could have molded my interests to fit Wisconsin's strength, but NYU is asking me to be less of an acrobat, in other words, it's just a better fit. I hope that I can convey my real feelings of "shock and awe" over NYU's offer, I just had written it out of my mind - I guess the "uncertainty principle holds" (if you are on the debate mailing list, you'll understand that).
posted by lmjasinski at 3:59 PM