"We aren't drinks on the door kind of people"
I must have opened a refrigerator door three hundred times today. My parents and I went appliance shopping - something I have realized is very difficult and not terribly exciting. In fact, there is a lot of anxiety involved with picking out appliances. Here's the thing, appliances are all basically equal in so many categories. You have standard sizes, almost identical pricing, and all come in four colors - white, beige, black, and stainless steel. As I learned today, several companies are joined (like Kenmore and Whirlpool) so the selection isn't as hard as you might think. Once you have something in mind - like I want a washing machine of a certain size and certain features, then you basically make the willy-nilly choice between the three or four brands that offer a machine to your liking - basically the list consistently comes down to Kenmore, Kitchen Aid, GE, Whirlpool, and in cases, Amana. It was actually a little hard to initiate the shopping today because, for once, we had no idea what we wanted. Our trusty fridgy friend is on its last leg, so we have the luxury of shopping around for a replacement without the urgency of time bomb like melting ice cream at home. We have your standard, off-white, freezer-on-top model. Nothing fancy. Going into replacing this fridge, my father was seduced by the side-by-side model. Frankly, and I actually
mean to offend all of you side-by-side people out there, I hate those things. Since I have had a classic 1950s style ice-box my whole life, I am clearly biased, but this kind of thing has a real lasting effect on a person (just like how being raised on a gas stove at home makes all electric stoves nearly intolerable and terrible devices). I just don't think that my family or I is capable of really making the change to side-by-side. Call me old fashioned, but I don't think I can think vertically enough to get all of my refrigerated goods into a neat column, can't make the switch from two big shelves to four smaller ones, and most importantly, I can't deal with rearranging everything to fit in a new space. My only real experience with these machines in action is when I have been at a friend's house or babysitting - in all instances, I've never warmed up to the idea that you need to cramp yourself into a twisted circus-like shape to push aside containers to get at the ketchup at the furthest rear-point of an all too narrow shelf. My sister said it best when she said, "we just aren't drinks on the door kind of people."
So the ordeal began... going in, I've advocated the freezer on the bottom design. I think this design makes the most sense out of all of your ice-box options and it is very under-used in homes across America. Again, I only have experience with this model at a friend's house and while babysitting, but it is really the best of both worlds. You get all of the frequent use items at eye-level, and the freezer pulls out like a filing cabinet on a track. Most importantly, you get a big, horizontal shelf for all of your beverage desires - including milk, OJ, snapples, and all the Diet Coke a girl could want. You also get to avoid all of that water / ice machine crapola - I think this is the biggest scam going on in the appliance world. For one, I hate that weird moon-shaped ice. Secondly, although these new models claim to have advanced filtration systems, I think the water will still taste like the plastic tubing used to transport the fluid "all the way" across the kitchen from the sink into the fridge (in my case, based on our set up, the fridge is 4 feet from the sink). I think all of these things are overrated because neither water nor ice are rarities. I mean it would be a real convenience if you didn't have running water or your water had to be filtered to be drinkable (like if you had well water or something wrong with it). But if your faucet works and you tend to drink more Diet Coke than water anyway, the machine is overrated and unnecessary. Okay, we have a small problem in my house of not always re-filling the ice cube trays when they need to be filled. When push comes to shove, though, you can usually come up with ice when you need it. In the side-by-side style, you give up to 20% of your space to the giganto icemaker contraption. I just don't think 1/5th of the purpose of your freezer should be devoted to making something as simple and easy to come by as ice. For all of these reasons, I stand firmly against the twin towers design. But anyway, we must have opened 300 refrigerators today in two different stores. I actually much preferred the salesman of the first store because he reminded me of the old SNL-vet Garrett Morris and I think we was entertained by our reactions to each model, including exclamations like "we aren't your drink on the door kind of people" or "look, this model has a special cradle for magnum size bottles of wine, we need that." But having really examined every refrigerator of just about every variety and color available in the free world, my parents are now leaning toward the black freezer-on-the-bottom style. Although my mother has truly considered the stainless steel finish, she's ruled that out because of its tendency to fingerprint. I think we're going to customize our new addition by ordering stainless steel handles to break up the black. It'll look sharp and match the black stove with steel trim.
Anyway, it is an ordeal. The nice thing about being young and poor is that you go in and can probably only afford base-line models. Like you get the standard washing machine - no fancy Calypso model that gently rocks your clothes (all silk scarves and delicates, as the commerical will have you believe) or a cool enviro-friendly front loader, you get the $299 generic white classic machine that makes a lot of noise and uses the highly advanced technology of river water on rocks. For refrigerators, again you have the single color choice of blinding utilitarian white and the fanciest feature you can afford is a deli drawer, and maybe ice cube trays, if you find the right salesman. But these are hard decisions. Like I said, every machine is basically the same and roughly the same price and you really don't know how it performs or what features really matter until you get it home, fill it with food, and then try to grab all of the contents necessary for making lunch in one-swooping raid. Then you have to live with your choice for about ten years - whether you love or hate it - and when you go out to shop for a new model, they've invented like eight new styles and three new colors and the game is totally different - back to square one, and you are standing in the display showroom gathering up all of the plastic food in sight and trying to imagine your life vertically or horizontally.
posted by lmjasinski at 12:14 AM
