the female gaze

Look with your eyes, not with your hands.


Such a minute fraction of this life do we live: so much is sleep, tooth-brushing, waiting for mail, for metamorphosis, for those sudden moments of incandescence: unexpected, but once one knows them, one can live life in the light of their past and the hope of their future.



A grad student muses on her life, film, friends, politics, reality televizzle, and music.


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"The story of your life is not your life, it's your story" -- John Barth
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Wednesday, May 21, 2003
 
....Too Old

My how the mighty have fallen. If there is one thing I hate being reminded of is the fact that my body no longer bounces back quickly from having a little too much to drink. So not only do I have to incur the repercussions and ridicule for my absolutely ridiculous drunkenness, but then I spent the entire day loafing around, complaining about how lousy I felt. I think there is a reason why college spans from 18-21, for most people - it's the only time when your body can deal with the abuse. Tonight has to be about laying low, there is no way I can handle another night that spans countless hours, too many empty glasses of gin, and then language houses and Mccullough to boot. I think there's a pub crawl tonight and I missed it last year and more than happy to miss it again, especially because you can still smoke in bars in this otherwise progressive state. I also want to see the remaining professors I haven't seen tomorrow and need to be a little more with it. Having coffee with Tom Moran, the guy who got me hooked on Chinese cinema (ultimately proving to be very influential in my life) and I also want to see my grandfatherly fantastic architecture guy, Professor Andres. It's been nice so far - in the reunion sense, but I've really missed many of my teachers and deans just as much as close friends. I've seen a lot of Ann and Marichal and saw Ted twice today at the champagne brunch for my Commons and then at McCardell's BBQ with the secret recipe corn pudding. Tomorrow I am actually getting put as a senior spotlight on the Middlebury Career Service page... I'll stick the link up, but apparently my living at home television watching self is their idea of a success story, nice honor, but I want to look nice in the photo - even if I won't be wearing my trademark brown spectacles.

I made time for my Idols last night and in about ten minutes I'll make time for them again. I was really routing for Ruben going into the contest, but I will admit that Clay really stole the show last night. I actually liked the first single Clay sang - but I think he was really solid and glittered. Ruben, you can tell he's tired and I think the first song was boring, Imagine wasn't great, and the third song was really good. Clay should have performed Yesterday instead of Here, There and Everywhere and then he really would have knocked everybody's socks off.

I'll probably add more after Idol, just wanted to check in and complain some more about how lousy it is to be old and hungover.