Working Class Heroine
I am a woman of fewer words now that I get home from work two hours before bedtime and the morning always comes too soon. Just the same, despite my brevity, today I was humbled, repeatedly. I worked this ten-hour day... but all day, I guess I continually confronted my in-limbo status and how crappy it is... how crappy it is to have shed my former successes and relationships and now just be the mush that is left over. It is a vulnerable situation to be around people who have never heard of Middlebury, don't know what a curator is, or don't know me as a sarcastic firecracker alcoholic. Most of the people I work with are either 19/20 or late-20s, manager types. This is a world away from the one I feel most comfortable in. But it is interesting how a job can level a playing field and suddenly, but $120k in education later, I am the one asking the pregnant teen high school drop out for help on how to process a returned camcorder that is under manufacturer warranty. I get through the days "imagining" that I am on an awful reality television series and that someone out there appreciates and sympathizes with my current lot in life.
At one point this morning, we actually brushed on art for a minute - talking about the installation pieces in Rockefeller Center, and how Takashi Murakami is doing the piece this summer. Honestly, this only came up because we were talking Louis Vuitton bags and he designed a line this summer - but then we got to Nam June Paik as he did an installation last summer. I started to go into his art, but I stopped myself, it made me feel self-conscious... ironically enough, it was just about a year ago today that I started my job with, quite literally, the two men who know more about Nam June than anyone else in the world. What a difference a year makes. I think this is what people mean when they say they need to be rescued. But I am thrown and it is really jarring to rediscover yourself and find balance in this situation.
posted by lmjasinski at 12:27 AM
