the female gaze

Look with your eyes, not with your hands.


Such a minute fraction of this life do we live: so much is sleep, tooth-brushing, waiting for mail, for metamorphosis, for those sudden moments of incandescence: unexpected, but once one knows them, one can live life in the light of their past and the hope of their future.



A grad student muses on her life, film, friends, politics, reality televizzle, and music.


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"The story of your life is not your life, it's your story" -- John Barth
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Wednesday, August 13, 2003
 
Oiy.

There is a strong chance I drank all of the beer in Connecticut last night. Last night was my royal send off, Club CC style. I am actually still very impressed with the turnout and the sincerity. Honestly, I had hoped to have a few drinks with some of the co-workers I was closest with, but that soon expanded and we filled half a bar, drank bottomless beer, and just had a very good time all around. We got kicked out around 1am, for the rest of the world it was a Tuesday night, and I ended up at my house with two of my friends from work drinking on the deck until almost 3am. The whole scene was pretty surreal, but these were two of my favorite people and I guess I wouldn't have traded the whole night knowing what kind of miserable hangover I have right now. But it's nice to think that people will miss you and you made a difference for the better, so I really enjoyed myself.

Katie took yesterday afternoon off and came to help me pack. Amazingly, I basically finished my packing yesterday. I still have some loose ends (namely a solution for moving a closet filled with hanging clothes, which is always problematic) but everything else is neatly sitting in boxes and ready to go. We aren't as tight on space as I feared and it's working out very well. I am also pleased with a treasure I uncovered in my basement - an antique school desk and retro school chair which will do perfectly as a sort of laptop working station. Since I still don't have the dimensions of my new apartment, it's nice to have a small desk and rely on the kitchen table for overflow. But this desk actually has an ink-well and it's looking pretty spiffy after a bath of Murphy's Oil Soap and some Pledge. Things are definitely coming along and it's been an easy and nonchalant move. I think the real headaches start once I arrive and have to buy and build furniture, stock the fridge, and actually move in. All in all, I still have no idea how people move an entire house.

The last few days have been terrific. I've seen so many people I love and had a proper send off. I've never been a "hug" kind of person, but there's been something very warm about this many people wishing me well and something inexplicable communicated by affection. Ah, I am just at ease right now, at ease and hungover, but at ease just the same.

One more night in my bed.