the female gaze

Look with your eyes, not with your hands.


Such a minute fraction of this life do we live: so much is sleep, tooth-brushing, waiting for mail, for metamorphosis, for those sudden moments of incandescence: unexpected, but once one knows them, one can live life in the light of their past and the hope of their future.



A grad student muses on her life, film, friends, politics, reality televizzle, and music.


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"The story of your life is not your life, it's your story" -- John Barth
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Thursday, October 02, 2003
 
Just when you think everything that could go wrong has.... WAIT

I just had a meltdown - technically speaking. My computer crashed today, for no apparent reason aside from Windows failure (and XP was suppose to be this great improvement). I have it at the helpdesk now and with any luck it'll be back tomorrow or Monday at the latest. I am close to a meltdown - personally speaking. They need to clear out the hard drive and basically give it back to me "brand new." At least it's a quick turn around and doesn't cost anything.

Thankfully, and by some divinely inspired force, I backed up my documents in May and will only lose a small number of insignificant documents that I've prepared for the class I teach (I haven't had to write anything for my classes yet and haven't added much to the document file over a lazy and unproductive summer). At the very least, I didn't lose my old papers, thesis, or resume. But I am also losing somewhere in the ballpark of 2500 MP3s (which I could theoretically retrieve), an archive of email, my favorite links... Essentially everything that made my computer "my computer." It seems that you always hear of people's systems crashing, but it never effected me until now. Thankfully I still have my address book and my documents. But it's funny that I spent so much time talking about what a sap I was and how I saved everything - including so many emails from other people - but what's it good for aside from reading through old notes and feeling sorry for myself... I guess I just need to rely on my fallible memory like the rest of the world. In some sick way, I feel like my machine betrayed me.

Ugh, so until I say otherwise, assume that I am computer-less. I can check email on campus, but I am really, for all intents and purposes, living in the analog age.

And my officemates (all of which are Mac users and believe that Mac can do no wrong) are having a field day.