the female gaze

Look with your eyes, not with your hands.


Such a minute fraction of this life do we live: so much is sleep, tooth-brushing, waiting for mail, for metamorphosis, for those sudden moments of incandescence: unexpected, but once one knows them, one can live life in the light of their past and the hope of their future.



A grad student muses on her life, film, friends, politics, reality televizzle, and music.


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"The story of your life is not your life, it's your story" -- John Barth
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Friday, January 09, 2004
 
Self-Reliance

As hard as it is to drag my sleepy self out of bed in the wee hours, getting up early really does make all of the difference in the world. I promised my sister that I would drive her to New London to catch the ferry to Long Island this morning, and as a result, I was up plenty early, went out for coffee, had a perfect $10.00 pump at the gas station, and then just enjoyed a nice drive (by myself coming home) listening to some cds, all before I usually would have thought about waking up. It was good, I felt like I was up and being productive, although I never finished reading my Warhol book as planned, but I was awake and that's the point. I was really pleased to receive my Ebay modem in the mail as a well (the dial-up modem in my laptop conked out) and with that up and running, I've completed the transaction and sold my laptop to my parents, sealing the deal on my new ibook. In unrelated news, my sister has both of the Outkast albums, so I've been giving them the once over - good stuff, but nothing tops "Hey Ya."

My Wisconsin mail was on the fritz all afternoon, but it seems to be working okay now. I got my grades and as expected, it was a good semester.

My parents really impressed me tonight with their initiative to try new food - my mother, of all people, suggested thai. We didn't try anything daring (it was a pretty bland sampler of a basic menu) but I was still really impressed that they suggested something that they know that I like, it was a nice gesture.

It is absolutely freezing here - and it's seeping into the house from every permeable window and doorframe. (I think it is suppose to be record cold tonight) so I think I should enjoy the fact that my sister is out of town and cuddle up in her heated waterbed and watch some Iranian movies on her VCR, I can sell my parents on some pad thai, it might be asking a lot to spring Kiarostami on them. We'll have plenty of quality time tomorrow, as I have plans to hit the theaters with my parents - we're all excited to see Tim Burton's Big Fish and the double, or triple feature titles are definitely up for negotiation.

Actually, yesterday wasn't a bad movie day, I was bummed to find it a little late, but IFC was running Kieslowski's trois couleurs series (they actually ran it twice, but who wants to watch Blue at 4:30am??) and I watched Red and half of White, before I passed out. IFC is great, no commercials. I had met my mother and some of her friends from work for margaritas, so I was a little late in getting home, otherwise I might have done all three. Unlike HBO, where you can always find the same titles repeated, IFC is more of a one time only thing. This afternoon, I watched Flawless on Bravo -- commercials, and edited for both content and language - a mediocre film that always fixated me after a trip to London many years ago when the Underground was plastered with posters of the drag-queened Philip Seymour Hoffman. While I think he played a good Queen with lots of zinggy one-liners, I think my pal Eddie Izzard would have been better cast in the role.