the female gaze

Look with your eyes, not with your hands.


Such a minute fraction of this life do we live: so much is sleep, tooth-brushing, waiting for mail, for metamorphosis, for those sudden moments of incandescence: unexpected, but once one knows them, one can live life in the light of their past and the hope of their future.



A grad student muses on her life, film, friends, politics, reality televizzle, and music.


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"The story of your life is not your life, it's your story" -- John Barth
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Wednesday, February 25, 2004
 
Something's Got to Give...

Another exceedingly, excruciatingly long day. I started this morning quite early in my production lab working with a few amateur actors and while the rest of my crew was helpful, it's hard to say how poorly we (mis)interpreted the instructions. I was the Director, just the same, it was a long lab of a piss poor remake of a scene from Wonder Boys. From there it was onto a long session of French Cinema which held my attention because I definitely have Jean Renoir on the brain. David screened The Rules of the Game in a stunning 35mm print and it just knocked my socks off. I see what this Bazin guy was up to, and if I could spend so many nights munching on such scrumptious cinema, I'd be a glutton for sure.

After my classes (which, I admit were flat today) Eric and I went to the new coffeeshop in the middle of State Street. It's owned by the patrons of another coffeehouse we frequent, but this place has high ceilings and a spacious layout, very nice. It was an added bonus that the door was open to let the sun and warmth slip in. We ended up having a pretty heated debate about healthcare / our TA union (more productive than the pile of grading awaiting me now - and I am already beginning to drag), but it was definitely an important conversation to have. After that, I was persuaded to go to the TAA Union Meeting where the membership talked heatedly of healthcare and rights and of a possible strike looming in April. Honestly, I'd really like to see the negations resolved before it came to this... Apparently, there is such a thing as a strike that would minimally implicate each of us personally and even marginally effect the classroom (I have a very hard time "walking out" on the students I am solely responsible for educating / evaluating). But anyway, I stayed at the meeting until the screening, then finally came home - securing another 12+ hour day under my belt, even with two days left to spare this week.

Thankfully, the next two days are comparatively easy, but just the same, the hum and sizzle of the semester is taking a toll. It's even worse to think that I still haven't buckled down to work on a paper yet and the Chicago paper is looming (if it's this hard to manage, already) then I suspect that things will only get worse before they get better. If only there were a way to wish it away... But sadly, these speeches demand my attention. If nothing else, this is a testament to my determination and fortitude - someone lent me several episodes of Sex and the City, from this season, that I have yet to see... I've consistently put other things before watching them (even, I suppose blogging) but other worthwhile and redemptive academic pursuits as well, and that should get me a brownie point, somewhere along the line.