the female gaze

Look with your eyes, not with your hands.


Such a minute fraction of this life do we live: so much is sleep, tooth-brushing, waiting for mail, for metamorphosis, for those sudden moments of incandescence: unexpected, but once one knows them, one can live life in the light of their past and the hope of their future.



A grad student muses on her life, film, friends, politics, reality televizzle, and music.


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"The story of your life is not your life, it's your story" -- John Barth
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Wednesday, March 17, 2004
 
Cut My Losses

Let's consider a day worthy of a do-over. I really did not live up to anyone's definition of productive yesterday - aside from reading 30 pages in my book (on which I have a 10-pager to complete by next Monday), napping some, and watching an unhealthy amount of television. Some may be proud, because I've come back to my roots and watched the 2hr American Idol last night. Although I can pledge no allegiance to the show from here on out (I usually go to screenings on Tuesday nights), I needed to watch this one to meet the 12 finalists and get some of the backstory. It's too hard to discuss all 12, but here are some observations.

The age thing is a little weird - the contest is almost entirely comprised of people who are either 16 or 24 (there may have been a few in the middle) but for the most part, it's either youngsters or slightly older people on the verge of having to give up a dream. One thing that's strange to me is how many of last year's contestants have become prototypes of people in this year's contest. The first woman reminded me of Trenyce (although Trenyce was much skinnier & Diva-esque). The red-headed guy obviously lends himself to an Aiken comparison. The pink-haired hairdresser goofball (who I think was actually the worst in the contest) with little doggies obviously reminded me of chubby Vanessa from last year. The curvaceous girl from Chicago with the frizzy hair seemed to be going for a Kim Locke demographic. George, who I actually really liked, reminds me of Ricky (although George can carry a mean tune, but should stop that swoopy dipping movement). John Peter -- okay, someone needs to just say this, that boy is destined for "Lord of the Rings!" (a Broadway play). He's just a hobbit in training - and as long as he wears his hair like Frodo and wears clothes that accenuate his short stature, it's a fair comment. I don't know what was going on with all of that dancing - but when his father came up to the stage, whoa, thankfully that was an AI first.

On the good side - I like Fantasia, both her personality and her Macy Gray / Aretha-like pipes. I also like how Simon says Fantsa-zee-ah. And I also like that her last name sounds an awful lot like the word "Burrito." It's just good plain fun to say Fantsa-zee-ah Burrito. I think if she stays around the contest for a while, Taco Bell should add a menu item in her honor. Although the lines were too jam packed to actually vote, we tried to vote for contestant 11 - her name escapes me, unforgiving - but another one of the youngsters, the second Hawaiian - the girl with the flower tucked behind her ear. I thought she carried herself very well, looked good, and I liked her personality, and Eric and I agreed on that. So my favorites so far are George, this Hawaiian girl, and Fantasia.

Afterwards, I watched Paul Verhoeven's Starship Troopers. What a weird movie - it teeters uncomfortably on the edge of several dramas (teen melodramas, bloody gore usually reserved for bad Chinese swordplay movies, the scale and quality of effects of any big budget, sci-fi action flick, and even softcore pornography) and it manages to do so without ever flaunting itself as a parody or a sincere film. It's actually very uncomfortable to watch in that respect - because you feel yourself being consciously manipulated and even falling for it sometimes. It breaks many rules of character identification and it seems to push the envelope in terms of gore, sex, and unclear character motivations. The cast itself seems to be another indication of Verhoeven's subversion - mixing up a lot of no names (Denise Richards is one star who has since "made it," but the rest of the cast was a heart-throb from Melrose Place and an aged Doogie Howser). If you haven't seen it, you should, but just because it will twist your expectations. We want to follow this up with Showgirls, another Verhoeven "masterpiece."

When I came home, I watched most of Douglas Sirk's Written on the Wind before falling asleep. This couldn't be more different than the previous film - but it's beautiful (a full range of Sirkian colors), wrenching like any movie with Roc Hudson, Lauren Bacall, and Robert Stack should be, and intensely over the top - this is movie about billionaire Texas oil tycoons behaving badly.

Anyway, I should take off my critic hat and put on my student hat - I am not at the point yet where I can pay the bills venting my opinions - so I need to go to work and sketch out this paper.