the female gaze

Look with your eyes, not with your hands.


Such a minute fraction of this life do we live: so much is sleep, tooth-brushing, waiting for mail, for metamorphosis, for those sudden moments of incandescence: unexpected, but once one knows them, one can live life in the light of their past and the hope of their future.



A grad student muses on her life, film, friends, politics, reality televizzle, and music.


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"The story of your life is not your life, it's your story" -- John Barth
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Tuesday, March 09, 2004
 
I am suddenly feeling very popular - winding down the third night out in a row, and second school night - not leaving much in the way of productive scholarship, but feeling better about other things. And it's been nice, sticking to New Year's resolutions and all, and breaking out of the same old routines to a degree.

Spent last night in Milwaukee, there's a first time for everything, hearing a great rock show. I went to see my beloved Walkmen and an opening act, another Brooklyn band, the very debonair French Kicks. The show blew my mind and honestly, there's probably no band I would have enjoyed this much. I am still reeling. It also stands as proof that the world doesn't quite make sense sometimes - but for $10 at some Milwaukee dive bar, I had a little taste of Park Slope, handsome hipsters, and good old fashioned loud rock music. Just the same, it was a very late night, but it was fun.

Today was slightly better than my usual Monday, because it's exam season. I didn't have to report to French cinema and in the afternoon, I proctored my students in an exam. It was a good day to lay low, although there was a tedious staff meeting to contend with and then a long, but fruitful as always, Bordwell lecture.

Being a Monday, there was some celebration - or catharthis in order. Eric and I moved up town to our favorite wine bar where another friend joined. Usually, this bar is Madison's best kept secret on Monday nights - bottles of wine are 1/2 price, the crowds are thin, the waiter treats us like regulars, it's quite enough, nice ambiance... well, something has changed since last we've been. Now they have live, loud, not terribly good music - very bossa-nova-y, and a karoke performance that left me lusting for fingernails on a chaulk board. Just the same, it's nice to see new company and bring something new to the conversation repitoire. We obeyed my self-imposed rule however, that Monday nights are for talking about things worthy of the Sunday NY Times, the arts... and just scholarly concerns beyond homework and lecture. It's become an increasingly important night in that respect. Following that, I was greeted at the door by a long-distance phone call and spent the waning part of the night feeling like a popular girl...

I have a quiz in the morning... and despite my "connections," I still have some studying to do.