the female gaze

Look with your eyes, not with your hands.


Such a minute fraction of this life do we live: so much is sleep, tooth-brushing, waiting for mail, for metamorphosis, for those sudden moments of incandescence: unexpected, but once one knows them, one can live life in the light of their past and the hope of their future.



A grad student muses on her life, film, friends, politics, reality televizzle, and music.


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"The story of your life is not your life, it's your story" -- John Barth
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Monday, May 31, 2004
 
Shapeless

I will admit that I've slipped further into vacation mode than I was previously... and I've been loafing in Madison for a week, not gallivanting around LA. I did a few things like find the perfect apartment (ah yes, now the landlord just needs to give us the okay) but it's wonderful, gigantic, hard wood floors, lots of windows, the exterior looks like a Frank Lloyd Wright house, and the floor plan is flow-y and modern. I couldn't be happier. Also, I have a very promising job interview on Wednesday morning, and with any luck, I'll be pulling down a three-figure income on a weekly basis sometime soon.

Yesterday I went to a lovely un-wedding wedding. I'll preface this by saying that I haven't been to many weddings. I know it's just a matter of time (assuming that this Massachusetts law is passed and some of my friends earn the the legal right to marriage) until I start going to weddings non-stop, but as of yet, I just haven't had many to attend. Despite my general ignorance of weddings, this one yesterday seemed to have the right priorities in mind. It was a wedding weekend - a picnic at the zoo on Saturday, guiness at a favorite pub on Saturday night, and then a Sunday morning wedding. She's a musicologist and arranged the music and he's one of my officemates and a fellow Com Arts guy. There was no dancing, instead, the emphasis was really on spending time with guests and celebrating two great people (who are great alone and better together). But it just seemed to avoid a lot of the nauseating, wedding cliches, I got to see two of my unlikely Wisconsin friends (Will and Kelly, two Midd grads who I know through a different life path) and it made for a purely enjoyable Sunday.

Aside from that, my routine has been pretty shapeless. I still haven't cleaned house / put away most of the things I brought to LA. Piles of laundry, everywhere, the bathroom / kitchen need a good scrubbing... but it's hard to get motivated. I also haven't been sleeping regular hours and as a result, I've been going to bed late, sleeping late, napping, and getting more off-track than ever. The immediate cure-all seems to be Patrick's return on Wednesday. That will motivate me to clean up (literally and metaphorically).

I've been doing a little for my Hollywood class, but not as much as I should have / not enough to be proud of. I plan to watch His Girl Friday today (I have decided to do a week on Cary Grant, if not more, largely because he's handsome and Turner Classic Movies is doing a 27-film tribute to him this month, so I have lots of films immediately available to tape / at my disposal). This week I've also watched Sam Fuller's Shock Corridor and Howard Hawks' Only Angels have Wings... with any luck I'll also watch Woody Allen's Bananas because it means that I'll clear out my Netflix queue and have a bunch of 1940s movies en route this a-way. The class starts on June 26rd, so I still have some time to get my act together, but like I said, hopefully a job / Patrick's discipline will do the trick and this time next Monday, it won't be 4pm and I'll be sitting around in my underwear blogging.