the female gaze

Look with your eyes, not with your hands.


Such a minute fraction of this life do we live: so much is sleep, tooth-brushing, waiting for mail, for metamorphosis, for those sudden moments of incandescence: unexpected, but once one knows them, one can live life in the light of their past and the hope of their future.



A grad student muses on her life, film, friends, politics, reality televizzle, and music.


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"The story of your life is not your life, it's your story" -- John Barth
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Friday, June 25, 2004
 
I don't care if it's kind of declasse to admit it, but I am currently eating some fishsticks and just loving it. In this chicken nugget-obsessed world, the fishstick kind of unfairly gets the shaft, and really, it's such a better food item. Unfortunately, the only way I ever see the fishstick getting good press is if there's a Mad Cow caliber scandal effecting the poultry industry.

Since the last time I blogged, I lived through a tornado. It might be the first time I've seen one, now that I think about it. It actually didn't hit my area too badly, but a few miles away, homes were destroyed. It's weird, it's almost like an air raid, I suppose - but when there's a tornado warning they blast these obnoxious loud sirens all over Madison. Ever since, it's been exceptionally freezing - like 40 degrees this morning - I swear, the locusts are next.

I also successfully survived my first teaching day. It went pretty well, over all, but it is a very different approach to teaching. I had between 30-40 people sitting in on my lecture (and that's actually a pretty big crowd) and they are all all senior citizens - a very colorful mix of lucid movie fans, nostalgic types, some youngish early retires (that are technically seniors, I suppose, but don't fit the typical imagined stereotype). But I have this crowd and no one takes notes, people come and go during class, and some even nod off or visibly zone out. But you actually need to bring a lot of fodder to a class like this - instead of going into a topic / concept in great detail, the better strategy seems to be touching on many, many ideas and topics, but each only for a brief amount of time and detail. I am still tweaking the syllabus, which I am glad wasn't set in stone, because after a day of coming to class, I have a better idea of how to spend the time so that everyone is happier. The short, witty anecdotes are sure fire winners. Anyway, I actually really like the crowd of people and they seem to have very interesting life experiences, so it'll be a fun summer, I hope.

I have a bunch of Bogart movies to watch this weekend - of which, I am embarrassed to say - I don't know much about, but that's why I am doing this, to learn about Hollywood cinema so I will no longer feel like an absolutely ignorant film student. Patrick actually made me these Hollywood flashcards - they have a director / studio / star's pictures on one side and facts / movies on the back... I actually need these and it's helping. Last night I had drinks with the other two avant-garde film scholars in the department, both of whom are finishing dissertations, and I was reminded why I am really in this game - and lately, those interests are feeling entirely too backburnered.

There's a documentary air in town these days. Last night, Patrick and I went to see The Battle of Algiers, a re-released 1966 Italian film that's definitely in the neo-Realist tradition about French colonialism in Algeria in the early 1960s. Perhaps it paints an overly sympathetic picture of freedom-fighting terrorists, hence its rerelease now, but it is a beautiful (in a gritty realistic way) and effective film. If it comes your way, it's worth the $7. Tonight I am going to see Michael Moore's highly-anticipated Fahrenheit 9/11. It's probably going to continue to be the talk of the town for at least a season to come, so I'll save my thoughts until I see it. Between now and then, I'll be tweaking my syllabus and trying to scrounge up more Hollywood dirt to amuse my students.