the female gaze

Look with your eyes, not with your hands.


Such a minute fraction of this life do we live: so much is sleep, tooth-brushing, waiting for mail, for metamorphosis, for those sudden moments of incandescence: unexpected, but once one knows them, one can live life in the light of their past and the hope of their future.



A grad student muses on her life, film, friends, politics, reality televizzle, and music.


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"The story of your life is not your life, it's your story" -- John Barth
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Thursday, July 22, 2004
 
Finished at Last...

It's hardly my dissertation, so it doesn't exactly qualify as clearing my own personal hurdle, but in the wee small hours of the morning Patrick finally finished his, some might say in the nick of time. I think he finished sometime around 5am and had to get up at 6:30 to drive first to Milwaukee, pick up a colleague and then onto Michigan for this cognitive film conference at Calvin College. Since he finished the writing so late, I did my small part and lugged the manuscript over to the copy place to have copies made for all five of his readers. A hundred bucks and 1400 xeroxed pages later, the world is now ready to bask in the most complete account of Hollywood Cinematography conventions during the 1930s. How to measure this yield... only time will tell.

Even though it's not mine, I am glad that this little rush-rush-rush phase is finally over and the pressure is temporarily lifted. It wasn't my burden, but it still disrupted my routine. It's hardly the most fun thing ever, but I guess it's a necessary evil for the coveted sect of scholars with PhD after their name.

Today's class went comparatively less well than some of the other lessons of the week. Last night I chose to show Wong Kar-Wai's In the Mood for Love, a film I love for its sensual beauty and elliptical plot. But today's class definitely turned into "ask the answer lady" session when I ended up having to defend art cinema to people who like their narratives simple, plain and conclusive. That being said, it's a battle I can't win. But I was glad that many of my regular faces came to my rescue, said that they also loved the film and that it was perfect just the way it was. It does leave me a little ambivalent for my scheduled lessons / topic for next week... but I have a much deserved three days off to think about it.

And believe you me, I need a weekend right about now.