Look with your eyes, not with your hands.


Such a minute fraction of this life do we live: so much is sleep, tooth-brushing, waiting for mail, for metamorphosis, for those sudden moments of incandescence: unexpected, but once one knows them, one can live life in the light of their past and the hope of their future.



A grad student muses on her life, film, friends, politics, reality televizzle, and music.

 
I am stressed out, frustrated and seemingly unhappy. I think I've felt like this too often as of late. Some days I think I just want to drop out of school and spend more time not doing things that are a waste of time. I don't know what I am good at anymore and that's a scary abyss to stand on the edge of.

I feel this way especially because I have a ton of boring reading to do (and faced with the reality that (1) it doesn't really impact my growth as a scholar and (2) we'll never cover it in class, it really feels excessive. I don't have a topic for my archive research project because I just don't like or care about historical Hollywood. And because I have a test and an assignment due on Tuesday - this feels all too ungraddy for the likes of me.

Amazing Race ended last night with a bang. I am sorry to see it end as it was the only thing I enjoyed watching on television for the past three months+. It was an especially rewarding end to the series because my favorite pair from early on, Chip and Kim won the whole shebang. I still wonder about the incredibly manipulative role that editing can play in favortism in a show like this - was CBS using mind control to make me like Chip & Kim (or conversely HATE the Christian models) all along? Just the same, I won a dollar from Patrick because Colin and Christy did NOT win and I will savor the sweetness of that victory. I can collect my ante when he arrives on Friday. So far so good on the long distance relationship front - thank goodness for Verizon's "in-calling" feature, but seeing each other every two weeks or so seems to be working out okay. In a perfect world, though, we wouldn't have to deal with this for much longer.
posted by lmjasinski at 3:23 PM